ITS BACK! And this year its dominated by not one, or two but THREE American music heavy-weights. Yep, I know, its gonna pour like hell, (I’ve got my life raft packed), but damn it- if anything we English are born to drench. See what I did there?
There’s alot going on this year so I took the liberty of curating the one and only itinerary for your festival needs, stick with me kid and your gonna have a ball.
2pm. Awake.. hit the Oxfam tent where the average of a tenner will kit you out in a dry and new sparkly/outlandish/silly/warm bit of clothing, oh and get a hat! everyone loves a hat.
6.20pm Get as close as her lips will allow to see Lana Del Rey. A creature of mystery and controversy, once Video Games kicks in you’ll be confused, moody but slightly delirious. STAY PUT FOR KELIS up next, the most refreshing and innovative of pop/hip hop stars, she’ll pull out all the stops to be more uplifting then a sports-bra.
8.45pm Elbow. Raise your pint, your arms, your testicles and embrace the love from Guy and co.
10.30pm Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers. Here is where and why IOW continually excel. Rather than ramming another Mumford And Sons headline down your throat once again, they have only gone and persuaded Petty and co to play for the first time in the UK in 20 years!
2pm Shower time for stinky stinky you. Thank goodness for Carling Refresh Rooms. Grab yourself an ice cold beer, chill out and unwind AND be in with the chance to grab a hot shower. Regroup once again as a hygienic human.
3.45pm Madness. Get down with your reggae, mod English self and sing “Our House” til it hurts. Guaranteed to be the ear worm of the day.
8.15pm Biffy Clyro. With Scottish beauty and music so forceful, prepare yourself for a severe flapping eyelids situation. Not that its a massive issue, as it tends to aid vision of the utter joy that is the tattooed torso of Simon-eye-candy-Neil. Look forward to That Golden Rule, Saturday Superhouse and The Captain.
9.55pm Miles Kane. A dude so cool he calls Alex Turner his wing man. He’s slick, deadly on a riff and he’s got enough swagger to peel your girlfriend right out from under your arm directly into his dressing room. Go ahead and dance, just keep one eye open.
Who knows what time Lost your friends? Phone battery died? Get yourself a Booster Brolly which ie, boosts your signal, charges your phone and keeps that pesky sun off your face. Did I say sun? I meant rain.
2.10pm Zulu Winter. Stagger over to the Big Top where this Wild Beasts meets Two Door beauty of a band will revive those bleary heads with glorious, shimmering, luscious songs about nookie and stuff.
6.15pm Noel Gallager’s High Flying Birds. Its gotta be done. If AKA..What A Life doesn’t bring out the sun, nothing will. Altogether now, ooooh ooh.
8pm Bruce Springsteen and The E Street Band. With a silly amount of 18 albums to choose between, there will be little surprise if he extends his 2 1/2 hour set well into next Tuesday. Rock N Roll in its purest form.
I will of course be soggily tweeting and posting away during the festival, in between breaks freshening-up courtesy of The Carling Refresh Rooms. Be sure to keep checking in with www.facebook.com/Carling and follow my adventure on twitter @catsbandcrushes hash-tag Carling.